What is our true hunger ?

Everyone has an absolute energy. This energy is translated through passions  we have, the gifts that we enjoy. Naturally  human being is so talented and born creative . Creativity gets obvious and so clear when we are children, because a child is naturally  intuitive and better listener to his depths and  eager to reach what the heart really wants  . Once we grown up, many of us stop wondering how and what  we used to be.. However some succeed to keep the connection with their motherhood. Motherhood is my word that refers to the natural voice of our childhood. In other word, they are considered successful than others, those who could save their intuitions and their skills to listen to themselves.

I have noticed that  the more intuitive the person is, the more artistic tendencies he has  and  vise versa . So we conclude from here that there is a strong connection between intuition and the artistic spirit... 

A child  tends to believe in magic, so naturally they are connected with the magical power of the universe, when  you believe in something ; you can attract the power and you  can put it into practice . In fact, when this exists, you are more able than another to listen to your inner voice and listen to your heart. May be we think that we do follow our hearts and listen to what they say. Yet, we still have a lot of commitments and work to do, to reach  our true depths .

Among the noise of our contemporary society, those who do this, are already so few. That‘s why may be many people have used meditation as a tool to help them to balance their needs peacefully and to listen to what their depths really want . 
The contemporary problems and modernity have always played as an obstacle for the modern humans to really follow their dreams.
 A dream is a habit you teach yourself that  you will achieve it one day, and you try to bring it into action through the power of meditation, visualizing and attraction..

Talents are our  voices which we have succeeded to keep them alive along many years. People are born talented and children can bring up these talents easily. We remain gifted but sadly many of us have lost their connection with their childlike nature . Often artists are the ones who keep the child alive in them . The more they keep him , the more intuitive, imaginative and creative they become . This explains why Picasso spent many years to learn a child’s skills; not only to express better his vision in art that he wants to share but he wanted to keep intuitive and connective with his first   spontaneous nature. The more you are in harmony with your inner  true nature,  the more you are closer to  every natural thing in your life, which  explains also why some are more  sensitive than others and says a lot about our sensitivity to our surroundings, as well.

As a result, artists  are those who kept the child to express their gifts and allow him to play the role of a magician to bring out what the modern citizen has failed to do..

 From my personal experience, nothing could satisfy me and help my whole being better than art . Painting was always my savor and my passion , it knows how to serve me so well .  
When I was child, I always had a deep connection to the universe and to  my surroundings , I always felt that my sensitivity to everything  plays an important role to build up the artist that I am today .

I was always drawing and I knew nothing better than this. I could do it well and It was the biggest source of joy and relief. 

Art since my childhood helped me to increase my sensitivity and my intuition. Later on, I knew that I was born to be an artist. Although the difficulties and obstacles I met which caused to break up with painting for so long time and although the words of my sister  when she told me that   art may be  is not  the dream  I have to achieve in my life, I always felt that it is art what really makes me happy and it is the best thing I know I can do it properly.

In fact , I can not deny that for a while and due to what I faced, I believed that I should rethink of what I really want and  what I have to follow in my life, especially later, when I finished my school and I moved to university, I found myself choosing another field of study according to the will of my parents . But inside, I was still struggling and there was no passing moment I did not feel that  art is really what satisfies my thirsty soul.

I never stopped trying, in every art club I heard of, I go and see how I can get closer to my only main target which is : paint and use colors properly . My dream did not have a true shape till years later, when suddenly I joined a club of painting that offers private lessons, I was asked by my previous teacher of art to move on and just start painting . Although I was  short of money , I  only knew that I have to start then, whether then or may be never .  In fact I did not study there for so long time , besides the teacher was not giving us what we need in terms of learning the basic art  techniques in painting, drawing and so on … But honestly  this  was what  pushed me  to hold on  and to recognize  that I was always right; I am born to be an artist .

For me a true artist is someone who could   follow widely and spontaneously their  hunger to paint , to play music or to write . Since feelings are so sincere and so strong . Artists always can express better than others how they feel . 

Personally speaking, I only feel the need to paint, so I paint, as if there is an inner call that says inside  me “paint”,   I just start painting and I surrender  to the flow of my feelings that bring up all my energies whether they are positive so they make me happy, or negative , so they get healed and  replaced by positive energy instead .

For many times when I could not paint due to a commitment to my study or to my work , I feel deeply annoyed . I call those negative vibes “ black energies” which   hunt me and refuse to leave . As a drug adducted, I know that  painting is a must , so I feel completely relieved and delighted . May be it is my way of meditation, but as the act of having sex , you  can release your energies by reaching the ecstasy , I really feel  the same when I paint . Does it make it a vital need for me?

For sure, it is and I taught myself to raise this habit and to increase this power of love to painting.

When I don’t paint, I really feel nervous, stressed and different to my nature.  Naturally I am a joyful and positive person, when I step away from this need , I feel that there is something missing in my life and  I am not the person I used to be ..

As a result, I have become addicted to this habit of art, so when I cannot make it, It turns to be negative power inside me. It is funny that sometimes my sister asks me to go painting when she finds me strange and not the person she knows. So she asks me to practice art as  if I should go to have  sex, hence in this way I feel good and really  relieved .

Art   has shaped better my sensitivity to people and things that surround me. Thus, I can say with full trust that art is what keeps the balance inside me and the connection between this world where I must survive and my mystical depths that call for magic and the imaginary forgotten world.

 In order to raise up the intuition and keep the child  safe and always alive in me, art is what has helped me to achieve this mission along this years and to survive this material and complicated world..

That’s why I do advise people always – especially those whom I can see that they suffer an inner problems with themselves and fail to reach the  needed balance -  to practice any kind of art they can fit into it ,which  can help to bring up the best in them, may be the best they think that they have forgotten about.

My train

My train please come
always free, come soon to pick me up
can't stay stuck for so long..
Iam like the train
run fast and can't see !
catch passengers but can 't wait
 for those who are behind me
my dreams are like the ocean
Wild and free ... 

Catch the right station !

It is not us who set the end, nor " us "  who bring the begining . Every end is the begining of  another life. Every start is a new face of an old dead leaf . A new song to those who have missed to listen to their first love song . Stations of train always come and for sure you can catch the right one . It is not important the stations you did not succeed in catching however it is important to believe that the better one is yet to come.

Relationships have been always a matter of big worry for us, and we have been always discussing what is worthy for us, what makes us and drives us to happiness . Unfortunately it has been always experienced that always the risky roads can lead to our source of happiness, that because Joy does not remain in its easiness but rather in its difficulty to  get it . Joy and sadness, or better sweet moments are joining together and walking side by side. Those who believe in ever after  happiness , they must know that this has no existence and that only bitterness what let us taste the joy . Life is  about these moments, of reading a book you love, listening to song you prefer, walking hand in hand with your beloved or share a bithday party with your friends. Success, relationships and family are all our sources of continuous sadness and joy. But we should  never forget that success has always related to hardships . Let s remember Ghandi, Mandella , Martin Lutherking, and many of them who suffered for years and they have always believed in the beauty of the universe, their hearts and their dreams . No one says that the road is smooth or beautiful . I do really find that safety and security bring us to a closed roads and can not lead us to go further . It could be helpful for a while but it is not the best solution if we really want to bring up who we really are ...

Women and limited oceans

In Tunisia , the role of women have been mostly subjected to the management of the administrative roles, although what is said about the freedom of the  Tunisian women, women’s freedom keep incomplete and related to man’s authority and approval  . It s been said that women in Tunisia  succeeded to  invade most of life’s fields but for me , I found them  still  so away from being completely independent and determined .  Time goes by, woman‘s rights get threatened and get shrunk with the menace of the religious party which is looking for implying the Shariaa.  By now, what becomes more serious is that the women’s situation is taking a dangerous tendency towards the indifference and the negligence of their mere rights.

Historically speaking, it has been known that Bourgiba, who granted a wide range of rights to women, has been criticized overall the Arabic world, and this later led to a big discuss and serious conflicts concerning this topic. By creating the Civil Code Statute in 1956, which is a number of Tunisian laws, and which was aiming at the institution of equality between women and men. Bourgiba offered the women a unique place in the Tunisian society, notably abolishing polygamy, creating a judicial procedure for divorce and requiring marriage to be performed only in the event of the mutual consent of both parties.

 Later on, Ben Ali reinforced this place and her legal protection among a society which is still considered deeply patriarchal and women’s rights are still implicitly discussed in the light of a social, economic and civil   progress.

Ben Ali did not make this as a belief from him   about the importance of women’s progress, but it was as an attempt to convince   the world about his progress in managing his state and its development. He always wanted to be the pioneer in women’s rights.  Thought it was forced to push women to uncover and be stylish, Ben Ali‘s strategy was aiming to make the Tunisian woman another copy of the European model. When the revolution happened, liberties have been granted and allowed for everyone, However, then it gets clear  that Ben Ali was only fulfilling the outside without paying attention to the content, because a wide range of women did not only  get back to Hijab  but also they have adopted  Niqab as a way to identify themselves .

Honestly  I am against “ hijab”  but not against the liberties  of  women  to  chose it, I  have always felt that it is unnecessary and cannot fulfill  Islam’s  soul  nor what it comes for .

Does Islam come to push women to cover themselves, if so why God would create them?  Isn’t women a beautiful creature, doesn’t god say in his Holly Quran, “, you should be grateful and show the blessings that God has gifted you”. So isn’t the women’s body interesting? I doubt that women discuss this issue and even question themselves about their true essence of their being; most of them think that it is religious, but is it really religion what defines the women   and determine their purposes in life? Many questions have invaded my mind since   the collapse of women’s freedom and rights have started   in Tunisia?

It   shocked me the number of women who got covered and who got drawn to the slafist ideology. In fact, what Bourguiba tried to plant in the Tunisian society has failed with the first experience of a choice made by the Tunisian woman whether to be an independent free will, or just a shadow of   the salafist Islamite ideology of some Tunisian men. 

I am not sure what the future of Tunisian women will be, I am not sure, even if they are going to fight if their rights get violated. But I still believe in the nature of some true Berber women who are naturally rebel and already wildly   cooked with fiery passion of their love to this country. 

Let s Hope so … 

My love ...

My  love,
Then what ?
 have they seperated me from you ?
No way,
Then what ?
Have they cut off my feeling of you ?
No way ,

My love,
No wander I found like you in this whole universe, that will satisfy this thirst I feel for you ...
No  tears will be enough to weep you, in case I lose you ...

I know Iam drawn to you every day ...
I know that you are deep with me always ..
you will never leave as I never want you to leave
you are in my heart, choosing to stay ...
But waiting for me encouraging  you to bring you up all what you want to say ...

My love,
You have raised me up, and you still ...
with every dawn.. with every sunshine
You knok on my heart, and say
Open, it is me, coming to raise you up again again ... 

The night

The night is nothing but a deep trip towards your past memories, If they are beautiful, they will flow and shine as a birght moon in a blue sky,if they are bitter, the night will be able to shut the echo and slow down its impact ...

Sabra and the lion

Once upon a time, there was a woman called Sabra, she was married and had lived happily with her husband. Time  went  by , Sabra got diveroced, this big  and tragic event caused her a lot of pain and suffering, culturally  it is such big shame and dishonour for women to get  divorced. In  a culture managed and controlled by the masculin society , to  be divorced is considered as  an excution for women ; who get compltely neglected and  rejected by the whole society .

 Without  finding anything to do  and  full  of  hopless and disperation , Sabra   left her  husband home to the direction of  her family home,  crossing the forest, Sabra was really sad and so depressed. Suddenly and on her way , she met a big enormous lion. Sabra felt so much  fear and she stepped back, but the lion noticed her deep scare so  he started his talk : ‘’ Do not feel  scared, Iam not going to harm you, but I wonder how  a woman can have the courage to cross the forest, knowing there might be a danger can threaten her life ?

Sabra felt a bit  safe inside and answered him  : an animal is safer than a human.

 The lion  liked the words of Sabra but he did not show his sympathy , so  he conituned  saying : Don’t you know that I am the king of this forest ?  don’t you know that human and aniamls should respect each otehrs, and their limits. We never come to your world. So why you are coming to mine ?

- Forgive me Mr lion,  But  I am so hurt and hopless, my husband did divorce me, and it  is really such big disaster, what I shall do now, Iam a weak woman, I am being rejected now from my society ...

-The lion says  astonishing : Oh, why rejected ? in my society, no on is rejected ?

-In my world, when women get divorced, they ‘d better seek to commit suicide ..it is so unfair for women  in my community, men  can end up the lives of  their wives by only one word from them spoken at moments of anger and bitter, it is the word of divorce .. Do you see such  unjustice, do you beleive that woman’s distiny is between the hand of a man, can play with it as much as he wants..

-The lion felt sorry and deep compassion for sabra, so as a noble worrior he  said to Sabra and his eys sparkling : Do you stay with me Sabra ? I will be your man, your protector and your worrior .. I will not let any one cause you any harm, no one !

Sabra was so amazed and  found no words to say, but she smiled and  murmured : yes, I am happy to hear you saying that, I would love to stay with you serving you and taking care of you ..

Time passes by and life seems so beautiful and happy with Sabra and the lion . They both  were enjoying their life by showing so much  care and tenderness to eah others, which led to  increase the love between them, and they can’t leave each others . One day, the lion comes hom after the work, but he found his wife Sabra crying and weeping , he run to her ,asking : what s wong with you Sabra, are you fine ?

-Yes, Iam fine, nothing important !

 -How is nothing important ,and I find my wife who I love her so much, crying, for sure it is so important for me, I care for you sweetheart .. what s wrong with you ?

-Yes, I  am suffering now, Iam happy here, but I miss my family so much, I did not see them for two years, I can’t resist this any more ..

The lion smiled and said : it is fine, don’t cry for this please, tomorrow I will take you to your family home , but don’t cry !

Sabra felt happy and  turned to her husband saying : oh really, thank you darling ..

In the morning, Sabra and the lion woke up so early and they start their long trip to Sabra’s family , after a week of walk and  tiredness, Sabra and the lion arrived to sabra’s parent house.

Her family could not beleive their eyes, seeing their daughter for the first time after two years, they haven’t  heard anything from her, since a long time  . So they have celebrated her visit for seven days and six nights.. Sabra stayed there surrounded by her family’s care for seven days .. and  in the last day, before the lion comes to take her home to the forest, she stayed with her mom talking , and she said : I don’t want to go home, I really miss you but Iam married now, I should follow my husband .

The mother  after a moment of silence , she said to her daughter : I can’t beleive that he is so perfect in this way to you;  are you serious that nothing  is wrong with him  ? 

Sabra, kept silent for a moment then said : well, he is  not perfect of course, but I hate so much his smell when he gets close to me, especially the smell of his breath ..

At that moment, the lion was  in front of the door, ready to knock in order to take his wife back to their home in the forest, he was so happy that because he was so in love with his wife, But he was deeply shocked to hear   his wife talking about him in this way . He  stood immobile in front of the door  then he started weeping    ... he  had walked a way few metres , took a place  under a tree’s shadow for  taking his breaths and feel the peace again into his heart .. 

 After a while, the lion knocked the door and he asked permission to take his wife back to their home in the forest ... and this what happened, Sabra walked joyfully with her husband the lion, and she was sining and enjoying the road, happy  and  feeling so cared for , but the husband kept silent the whole trip, seven days  during their trip and the lion was not talking with Sabra, reaching their distination, Sabra felt so  impatient and so surpirsed about the sudden change of her husband, so  she started saying :  what s  wrong with you man ?  why  you are silent the whole trip ?  can I know what s up with you ?

The  lion says after a moment of thinking : ‘’  May I ask you something ?

Sabra answers saying : “ yes, if I can do it, I would love to serve you !

-Yes, you can do it, I want you to take the ax and hit me on the head !

-What ? are you crazy ? no way, I would never do something like that .

 -If you don’t do it, I will allow myself to eat you and make you my lunch !

Sabra felt so  surpirsed and she could  see the  resistance of her husband, his eyes was sparkling and he seemed so confident about his  request , Sabra coud feel for the first time this deep fear , so she found nothing but to surrender to his will. Sabra took an ax and she started hitting him on the head, the lion felt down and  his blood  was all around .. When sabra saw all of that blood, she rushed to her husband, crying and  asking him why he did let her do that ... without undrestanding the intention of the lion from his request. As a good wife, Sabra spent nights and days beside her husband, nursing and feeding him .  After a good while, the lion started  to heal and get cured from his blessures .. and Sabra was still ignorant why he asked her to  do that, so  when  she assured that he is fine, Sabra decided to ask him and to give her an explanation . she said : “ I don’t undrestand why you aswked me to hit you on the head, I could kill you.”

The lion answered back without hesitation : “ you are not strong enough to kill a lion, I was sure that you would not, and if you did, that it was a risk I wanted so much to  take it.”

-         yes , but why ? why was all of that ?

-         I wanted to show you that the blessures can get healed even after a long time, but hurting and breaking someone ‘s heart , nothing will heal it, not even the time”

Sabra felt so much surprised and she could not undrestand what the lion wants to say ,asking him what she did do, she had started to feel the scare : what did I do to you ? how  did I hurt your feelings ? I love you , I would never think to do that for you .

The lion said, after a moment : I heard your conversation with your mother, I heard you complaining from my smell and my breath ?

Sabra, felt as she was a frozen piece, she could not say anthing at the moment, so the lion finished his saying : “ Oh Sabra, don’t you know that  blessures get healed , but the wounds of the heart, will always remain the same . It will never get cured even if  time goes by ...”  Then without any chance given to her to espcae, the lion jumped to Sabra, and ate her ..

As a conclusion to  blessure some one, they may get healed  with time, but the wound of the heart  will   always remains as long as the person is  alive ..  Not because it is hard to  forgive or overcome but it is because people will never forget how you let them feel,wether good or bad ...

                                                 The End...